April 29, 2008

YOU!!

Hey, I tried to call you this morning…I saw in the paper today that the IRS is sending out what they’re calling “economy boosting” checks - like a bonus - to folks who filed taxes last year (that would be YOU) and that they’re issuing them for folks who got their returns direct deposited (isn’t that also YOU?) first!  The article says you’re eligible for up to $600…I sure hope that’s YOU!!

i don't trust the maid

  • Mom: just yestday i was telling Dad how disciplined u were as a toddler
  • Mom: i trained u to do no 2 before i leave for the office in the morning cos i don't trust the maid washing ur butt cleanly
  • Mom: hahahaha
  • Mom: and there's a tune to get u going too....hahahah
  • Me: omg
  • Mom: i know!

vulgar!

Do not say wamp wamp.  It is meaningless and vulgar!!
 
is it supposed to have a meaning??
 
Love, Mummy

magic.

Hi darlings, I hate magic.  Please let’s not go here.

Love your mom

ugly necktie and blow up man

  • Mom: hey
  • Me: hi
  • Mom: how was your day
  • Me: good good
  • Mom: what did you do on your day off yesterday
  • Me: went shopping for an "ugly" necktie at the thrift stores
  • Mom: did you get the pic i sent its a blow up man that waves in the wind real cool'''real tall''''did you find a ugly tie lol
  • Me: yeah i saw it
  • Mom: hehehe

I prefer reading "letters"

I have been re-reading several of your past emails. Dad prints them out for me since he is always on the computer and I never am. I prefer reading “letters” rather than staring at a screen. I have several questions and comments.

Concerning your last email, I don’t understand how your friend is such a poor businessman when he has an MBA from Wharton, which was the number 1 business school in the country at the time.

You told me to give Alice my recipe. NEVER! NEVER! NEVER! It is the only thing I make well and therefore will never share that recipe. It still makes me feel good that Coach even mentioned it in his speech at the end-of-season banquet.

I am forwarding on an email that was written before and was not sent, concerning Dave.

Love,
Mom

nasal irrigator

In other news, your father asked me this morning if he could borrow my nasal irrigator.  I got very excited, thinking he was being pro-active in fighting the cold that’s got him sniffling non-stop already.  Turns out he just wanted to use the irrigator to inject jelly into the croissants he was baking.  I could write a fucking book.

I’ve got to buckle down now and read this new script.

XXOO
MA

check please

just checking on you, like you check on me.
consider yourself checked.
checkmate
write a check
check it off the list
Chubby Checker
check and see…
check it out
I will check in at the hotel california
I’ll check you later — oh no oh no — somebody’s messing with the stone!

unfortunate nudes

Hi love,

Berlin is grandiose and fascinating.  We’re seeing many sights via train and subway - traveling in grand style.  Hotel is great but has an unfortunate nudes pic over the bed.  Tomorrow we check Dresden and back to U.K. on Saturday.

Love,
Mom
April 28, 2008

"JUST DO IT"

I called the LA County Registrar of Voters because Cassandra told me it’s not too late to register (have up until Jan. 22). You can register at:
library
post office
fire stations
DMV
city hall
 
SO PLEASE DO YOUR CIVIC DUTY SO YOU CAN VOTE IN THE FEB. 5 PRIMARY.

 
NOTE OF CAUTION:
DO NOT LIST YOUR PHONE NO. OR YOU WILL BE DELUGED WITH PHONE CALLS. 
IF YOU REGISTER AS AN INDEPENDENT, YOU WON’T (SUPPOSEDLY) RECEIVE ALL THE JUNK MAIL.
 
As Nike says, “JUST DO IT”